Dear Agent
Rule one: never dear agent. Never. You will not get a response.
Submitting queries to literary agents is not fun but it is part of the job, you know, this no pay job of writing fiction most of us have been doing for years. Every agent has a different criteria for receiving material. The popular trend at the moment is the everything in the body of the email approach - attachments may contain viruses, malware, or magical incantations to curse the dream crushers of the literary world. This one wants the first 50 pages while another only needs the first chapter, and a detailed synopsis or nothing more than a one-pager. They want to know things about you; your writing credentials, if you're querying other agents simultaneously, and the social media platforms you operate from.
Many literary agents I've queried over the years never responded.
It's true for me and it will be true for most new writers.
Rejections I've Received In The Past (and still do)
1. this is not the right fit for me
2. we are focussing on our established authors and are not taking on new clients at present
3. the storyline isn't convincing
4. chapter one grabbed me but the rest didn't
5. UK publishers have an aversion to stories set in South Africa
6. I am already representing an author with a similar plot than yours
7. we only publish x amount of local titles per year
8. this doesn't match what we're looking for at this time
9. the concept just didn't grab me and you deserve an enthusiastic agent
10. too much telling and not enough showing
I've never received a super negative letter, putting me or my writing down but I have seen a few examples of such letters that were sent to some now very successful authors. From my experience, they don't do things like that anymore.
Positive Rejections
In my opinion, there is such a thing as positive rejections. Sometimes an agent or publisher, even though they are not offering representation, leaves you with just that little something to make you feel not-so-bad about being rejected. Like these:
1. your writing is definetly above average
2. your MS was one of a few that made us sit up and take notice
3. everyone who read your MS was intrigued by your idea and narrator perspective
4. love how realistic your narrator is
Don't
1. beg
2. brag
3. be too casual
4. send too much or too little, only what they ask for
5. submit during December - most agents are closed for business
6. respond to a rejection letter
Do
1. address the agent by his or her name
2. make sure they dig your genre
3. check if they are open for submissions
4. include spoilers in your synopsis
5. pray to Ecanus, the angel of writing, for guidance...
Turnaround Time
Make your peace with the very real and painful fact that you will not receive a response to every query your send. This is true when submitting to both agents and publishers. I've received responses as early as three weeks and have waited for as long as eleven months for one publisher in particular which, believe it or not, turned out to be one of the best rejection letters I've ever received from an international top notch publisher.
Hope
John Grisham’s first novel was rejected 25 times and Beatrix Potter had so much trouble publishing The Tale of Peter Rabbit, she initially had to self-publish it. Rewrite, edit, submit and repeat!
Sources
I often make use of the following sources when researching agents:
1. Twitter
2. The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook
3. Writers' Digest
4. writersservices.com
Warning: the business of writing fiction is a life of toil, filled with copious amounts of self-loathe, weight gain, a coffee addiction, and antisocial behaviour that may last for years. Approach with caution. Can lead to irrevocable trauma.
